2nd February 1985 (Saturday)

Nothing out of the usual happened at work today.  I came home and played computer games.  Then I came in to have a rest.  I was lying on the bed and a good song came on the radio so I started taping it but I fell asleep so the whole tape was filled with rubbish when I woke up.  I was hoping to get a phone call from Karina to ask me to the dance but she's obviously too selfish to let me even see Brad.  Karina always gets everything better than me.  She was Ann's best friend, they always left me out, she's better at school, she' got neater handwriting, she's got more friends and she's got more music students than me.  But the worst thing is she sees Brad more than me, and she doesn't give me any opportunities to see him.  If he likes me he likes me, if he doesn't he doesn't.  Neither of us can do anything to help that, but she's trying her hardest.  I know how she feels.  I felt the same with Joanne and Peter.  But I realized it wasn't Joanne's fault Peter likes her, she's just the lucky one.  Why can't Karina realize that?  Not that Brad likes me.  But she won't give me a chance to find out.  I almost don't want to go as much as I do.  I know Brad would have ignored me again and I'd only be depressed but I always like to find out, even if it does hurt.

We went to mass in Bodallin tonight.  My cousins were there, Owen & Trent, and my second cousins Melissa & Katelyn.  They're all quite young but they're my favourite cousins.