31st March 1985 (Sunday)

I didn't do much today except my Ancient History assignment.  I really hate Ancient History. It's so hard! It's supposed to be a 1500 word assignment but mine is only about 550 words.  I'll probably fail but it's better than geting zero.  I wasn't going to do it at all but I decided I should.

Aunty Cor brought Nan home today.  Nan's been down at Aunty Coralie's for two weeks.  Trent came up but Owen didn't.  Caitlyn and Melissa also come.  Today I cut Caitlin's, Aunty Cor's and Melissa's (Benning) hair.

We went to Mass at Ridgehaven again tonight.

Uncle Coin is councillor again.  He got 490 votes and the other candidate only got 263.  Brisbane has a new Lord Mayor, Sally-Anne Atkinson.  Mum and Dad are pleased becuase she's Liberal and this family is very much anti Labor party.

I can't wait to see David tomorrow (Charles not Jackson).  But I'm afraid that nothing will ever happen between us.  I'm the one pushing again and nothing ever happens when it's me who likes the guy first.

30th March 1985 (Saturday)

Kelly wasn't at work this morning.  I'm not pleased!  She drinks a little too much.  Julie worked with me.  David Jackson took Julie's place on the fruit machine.  It's a very boring job, I used to work down there.  It's close to the deli so when David wasn't busy he came up to talk to me.  It's a little surprising because we've never spoken before.  I could be imagining it, but I get the impression he likes me.  He kept staring at me from the fruit machine and he did talk to me a lot.  He's a year younger but he's very cute.

My 'favourite' cousin Elizabeth picked me up from work!  The local elections were held today and Uncle Colin (Elizabeth's father, already the councillor) was standing again.  The voting was held at the school (700m away) and Mum, Dad and Liz were handing out how-to-vote cards.  Liz got very bored so she came to pick me up.  She's OK when I'm talking with her.  I mean, we get along alright when we're together but I'm pretty sure she'd say things about me behind my back, just as I do to her.

I tried to do my Ancient History assignment today but I can't.  I really want to drop A.H. but the guidance officer won't let me.

I got a very dull letter from Paul Street again today.

28th March 1985 (Thursday)

I've nearly finished my English assignment due in tomorrow.  It will be done.  I got 26/30 for the content part of the Biology exam.  I had my piano lesson this afternoon and Mum went visiting so I had to wait for her for about 20mins.

Well, I've really blown it with David.  This morning Nick and David were talking about some girl and David, and we were right there so we thought it was a setup.  We got very angry.  We asked Bevan if David knew I liked him and Bevan said he did.  He said Roselise told him.  Anyway David is not really talking to me.  What a bummer!

I got a very minor part in the musical.  Miss Smith, a detective.  I've only got 7 lines plus I'm in the chorus.

27th March 1985 (Wednesday)

Today was a total disaster.  The two things I wanted so badly were both just dreams of an unimportant person trying to think big.  What made me think I'd ever get the school captain or a lead in the musical?  I must be blind, dumb & stupid.  I was called to see our music teacher, Mr Woodworth, at morning tea from parade this morning.  There were 7 of us called.  I was hoping it would be because we were being given main roles.  I was partly right but mostly wrong.  We had to read lines from the play and our teacher gave about 3 parts to some girls but nothing to me.  I was feeling worse & worse until he said he had 3 he wanted for the main role.  I was one!!!  The other two were Jenny Johnson & Marion Rigby.  He made us read and sing and read again and he still couldn't decide.  I went through sport feeling ecstatic because I thought for some stupid reason that I had the part.  But at lunch Roselise went to see Mr Woodworth to ask what it was he said he had in mind for her.  She got a minor role but a good one.  She's a sophisticated secretary and she sings a solo! (Everyone knows she has a horrible voice).  Karina also got a role and she asked to be taken off the list.  She doesn't have a speaking role but it's better than only a chorus part.  And Mr Woodworth had a part for me as well.  He asked me to play the DOG!!  Everything just suddenly didn't matter after that.  All my hopes were shattered.  My heart seemed to break into a million pieces.  The disappointment on my face must have been obvious but I couldn't hide it.  I didn't get the lead, not because I wasn't good enough, but because I didn't suit the part.  I suppose he thinks I'd be a terrific dog!  He said he wanted the dog to be a back-up harmony singer and my voice was good so he wanted me to do that.  I told him I didn't really want to so he said he'd try to find something else for me.  In other words I'll be stuck with a crumby chorus part.  I think that's so unfair.  If I was good enough for a main role he should be able to find SOMETHING more than just a chorus role.  No one seems to understand just how important this was to me.  It was my only chance to be someone.  But I guess I'll just have to go through my whole life being a "nobody"!  I want to be important, well known, and most of all famous.  I realize famous is a bit too much to expect.  I'd like to do a TV commercial or something like that.  I'd absolutely love to be an actress on TV or theatre.  But no one knows that.  My friends knew I badly wanted the part but I think Joanne was a bit shocked when I cried on the bus.  She was good about it but I don't think she fully understands.  Karina certainly doesn't.  She wasn't even talking to me.  She tried to make me take the part of the dog but I wouldn't.  I wouldn't be surprised if she went home and told her mum I was an ungrateful bitch (in those words).  I just wish people would understand me.

26th March 1985 (Tuesday)

I don't think I failed my Accounting today although I don't think I did all the well either.  Biol tomorrow!?!

I saw David a fair bit again today.  He always talks to me a lot.  But I don't know how to take that.  He probably just likes me as a friend.  Karina & I were getting on really well with Nick (like usual) & Darren Brown.  I think I've mentioned him before. They're in our Accounting class.  We had lunch during sixth because our exam went into lunch so we were with them for our lunch break.  I can't write much when exams are on because I'm up late studying & I'm tired.

25th March 1985 (Monday)

Boy am I stupid.  I always leave study until the night before.  But I guess I'll never change.  We had our Maths exam today & I really stuffed it.  I'll do the same with Accounting tomorrow.

David was talking to us a bit today.  But I've gone & got myself hooked on a guy who doesn't care AGAIN!

I taught John this afternoon.  He's doing very well.

Joanne HAD to audition for the musical today.  Our music teacher made her.  I was so wrong about her.  She really is great.  She's a terrific friend.  I said stupid things about her.  I should never have said them.  Her & Kelly & Karina (sometimess) are my best buds (as Kelly would say).

I guess I should keep studying Accounting.

24th March 1985 (Sunday)

Today I watched far too much RV.  I watched it from 12:30 until 6:30.  I've bot a Maths exam tomorrow and I should have been studying for it.  I have been doing a bit.  But not really enough.

23rd March 1985 (Saturday)

Work was dull this morning. Kelly wasn't well.  She had a little too much to drink last night.  Joe McIlhenny came in to see Kelly (he was sitting with us at the hair fashion awards).  He's kind of cute, he said hello to me.

We had our first deb meeting today.  Nine girls went but a few more are making their debut who weren't there.  I know all the girls that were there today.

We went to Mass at Ridgehaven tonight.  Nothing unusual. 

22nd March 1985 (Friday)

Yesterday I forgot to mention my piano lesson.  My teacher has been in Hong Kong so I haven't had lessons for the past 4 weeks.  I haven't been practising either.  I thought she'd kill me but she was nice about it.  She realizes I don't want to do exams so my lessons are only 1/2 an hour instead of an hour.  She brought me back a nice purse, bag & sunglasses case.

School was nothing special.  I can feel myself drawing away from Karina.  I don't know why & I wish it wasn't like this but just don't like her as much as I used to.  I didn't see David much today.  But he talked to me for a little while.

I went out tonight.  Of course I shouldn't have.  We went to Ridgehaven Dance.  I've never been so depressed.  No one would talk to me.  I knew enough people but the only person nice enough to talk to me was Karen Johnson.  Elizabeth McIntosh (my doggy cousin) came in later with Benny.  Bryant's at Mt Isa.  I asked Liz when Bryant was coming down and they all just looked at me and Benny said, "Bryant still really likes you," so sarcastically I could have bashed his face in.  Not to mention darling Elizabeth's.  I must be the biggest failure at an attempt of a person I've ever seen.  I'm a real dud!  I've got no close friends now, no guys like me & no one talks to me.  I'm hopeless.  I'm worthless.  I really wish I was dead.  It would be so much better than living this rotten life I live.  I wish a car would run over me or I'd get bitten by a deadly snake or I'd fall down the steps and break my neck or I'd get struck by lightning.  I'm too gutless to kill myself so I need an accident to do it for me.  I didn't think I was really that bad until tonight.  There's obviously something wrong with me or I'd at least have someone who'd talk to me.  I only had 2 dances.  One with Dad's friend.  I'm bad news.  I don't think I should ever go out again.  The public don't deserve such bad company!

21st March 1985 (Thursday)

Today was nothing special.  We tried to get David and Nick into the musical but they said they might audition tomorrow.  Geoff & Marcus & Aaron and a few of their friends auditioned today.

Tonight was really the best.  I went to watch the Bodallin Hair Fashion Awards.  Joanne was a model and Kelly asked me to go so Mum & I went.  It was licensed and Kelly and the friends we sat with all drink.  I had a few sips of their wine and my first taste of rum & Coke.  It's OK I guess.  Mum was sitting with us so I couldn't really have whole drinks.  The awards were given to all the wrong people.  Shiralee (where I go & want to work) should have got best salon.  Kelly's sister's husband's family owns half of Shiralee and Kelly is really good friends with their daughter, Sharon Harmer.  Mum talked to Kelly's mum a few days ago and said about me wanting to work there.  It probably won't help but I hope it does.  I've wanted to be a hairdresser since I was grade 5.  I tried to get in at the end of grade 10 but there were no vacancies.

20th March 1985 (Wednesday)

I talked a lot to David today.  He's so nice!  I've got him thinking about going in the musical.  Before there was no way he'd go in it.

Yoko leaves tonight.

I'm so tired I can't be bothered writing anymore.  It's 10:00 & I've done no homework & I'm not going to.  We've got exams next week.

19th March 1985 ( Tuesday)

Karina was away today but that didn't bother me at all.  In fact it was really good without her.  I'm getting sick of her company.  I always get sick of my best friends.  It's stupid and I feel bad about it but I can't help it.

I watched Roselise audition for the musical today.  She's got a horrible voice!  Only two boys have auditioned for it so far.  The teachers said they'll have to force the boys into it.

Kelly told me who she likes and I have to keep it a secret.  I can never keep secrets but this one I will.  I want to because Kelly is my best friend at the moment.  She made me feel like someone when she told me and better still, she trusts me.

I only saw David once today.  He said hello and stood in front of me so I couldn't pass him and he kept stepping from side to side in co-ordination with me.  I loved it.  He's really very tall.  He's almost as tall as Nick but he doesn't look it.  Probably because he's muscly and Nick is a scrawny runt.  Wendy Harvey asked me if I like Nick today.  I asked why she wanted to know.  She said, "Just curious" but it was almost as if Nick or maybe Janine got her to ask me.  I said I didn't and she asked me if I hated him.  I said a very definite "No".  I only like him as a friend.  I've never really like him any more than that.

18th March 1985 (Monday)

Boy am I sick of school!  The social aspect is great: cheersquad, musical, camps, I love all that.  It would be fantastic if I could go to school for all that and do absolutely no work.

Geoff came home from the camp today.  He's very tired and has been sleeping since 5:00.  Joanne of course had a great time.  But being as popular and pretty as she is, I can imagine the kind of good time she'd have!  She wouldn't be depressed for one minute.  Not like dull, ugly, dumb, boring, stupid I did.  I'm nobody!  I really want the part in the musical.  It will make me special, someone, important.  But why am I kidding myself?  As if I, Tara Benning, would get a main role in the school musical.  Sometimes I live the biggest dreams imaginable.

David was at school today.  I found today I was avoiding guys.  I hate them all.  None of them are any good.  I offered David $10 if he auditioned for the musical but he took it as a joke.

I taught John this afternoon.  He's going well.

Kelly rang me tonight about her sewing.  I wasn't much help.

17th March 1985 (Sunday)

Today was the day I was supposed to do heaps of homework and start studying for the exams next week.  But I don't think it's even necessary to state what I didn't do.

Owen and Trent and Aunty Cor came up today.  Nan and Kevin are going down to their place to stay for a few days so they came to pick them up.  They stayed for the day.  With Geoff away on camp, Mel and I had to entertain the boys.  That was easy though.  I love kids.  We had a "copy the leader" dance competition to Madonna "Like a Virgin".  That was fun!  Good exercise too.

We went to Mass and Ridgehaven tonight.  Nobody interesting was there.

16th March 1985 (Saturday)

Work this morning was the same as usual but this time I had some very nice scenery!  Wayne Long is absolutely beautiful.  Kelly and I were drooling over him all morning.  But what's the use dwelling over something you can't have?  I think I should give up on guys for the rest of my life!

Tonight I'm in one of my I-wish-somebody-loved-me moods.  I get so depressed when I'm like this.  All I think about is having someone to hold me and really care about me.

Mum and Dad went to a wedding near Galton today so Dane Jenson had to pick me up from work.  Dane works for Dad and Uncle Frank on the farm.  Danny (Mum's bro.) came out today and had lunch.  Mum and Dad didn't get home until 8pm so we had Kentucky Fried Chicken.  YUMMY!!

15th March 1985 ( Friday)

Bodallin only came third!!!  We were so disappointed.  We've won the last 3 years.  Our cheersquad was pretty good.  I really enjoyed doing it.  It was great!  It got to the stage where it was more a competition between cheersquads rather than swimmers.

14th March 1985 (Thursday)

We had our final cheer squad practise before the big day tomorrow!  We aren't really very good but good enough.  I'm in the front row.  I got out of double Ancient History to make pom-poms.

David said hello to me today and I didn't even say anything to him first!  Karina got jealous.  Roselise and I went up to talk to him at morning tea (Karina was doing a Biology Prac) but he didn't say much.

Karina is such a selfish person and she's never willing to help anyone.  She's very smart and she always knows all the answers for Biology but when I ask her for help she practically throws her answers at me or ignores my question.  She does that in every subject.  She's all improtant and she doesn't give a damn if her best friend fails.  When I beat her in English I was amazed and I said about twice "I got 10/15".  She said, "Oh, good on you, Tara," very sarcastically.  Nice attitude for a friend to take!

I really hope I get a lead role in the musical then maybe Mum would take a slight bit of interest in what I do.  I come home and tell her I got a good mark for English and I beat Karina and she said, "Did you?"  Very uninterestedly.  I told her I got into the cheersquad and the same thing happened.  I showed her my cheersquad uniform and she didn't even say it looked nice.  Then to make things worse, I told her I auditioned for the musical and she didn't even ask me how I went.  Melissa came home with an 'excellent' written on her work and Mum showed all the symptoms of a 'proud parent'.  She can't even raise her eyes from what she's doing for me.

13th March 1985 (Wednesday)

I've given up on David.  I hate being hooked on a guy who couldn't care less and I won't do it again.

Yoko came up to the school today and said goodbye over parade.  Then she gave Karina a letter and I got jealous.  I was in a cranky mood all day.

We had cheersquad training again.  It's fun.

Someone told me today she heard I had the lead role but that wouldn't be right because not everyone has auditioned yet.

12th March 1985 (Tuesday)

I auditioned for the musical today.  There were seven of us.  I had a study 7th so we did it then.  Others auditioned at lunch time.  But I went to the cheersquad practice.  I enjoy being in the cheersquad.  It's great.  The auditions went well, I think.  I was probably in the best 3 from the 7 of us.  I hope I'll get in.  We could choose the following :

Lead Singing Role
Support Singing Role
Support Speaking Role
Chorus
Dancing
Behind the Scenes

I ticked lead singing role and chorus.  The results will probably be out in a week.  I didn't get school captain so I must get this or I'll be very upset.

David was at school today but he didn't talk to us and we didn't get the chance to talk to him.  Tomorrow I'll try to con him into going into the musical.  They're having difficulties finding guys interested in going in it.

11th March 1985 (Monday)

I was so disappointed today.  David didn't go to school!  He better go tomorrow or I'll cry.

The principal said over parade today that Kathy and Wayne are school captains.  I really did want it but anyway, it's no use dwelling on it.

We had another cheer squad meeting today.  It's not as good as I thought.  I was hoping it would be like the American cheerleaders.  But it's not really organized enough and the routines are really hopeless.

Today we were told the musical auitions are on tomorrow and Thursday.  I've got auditions and a cheer squad meeting at the same time tomorrow so I don't know what to do.  I really hope to get a main role but then I really hoped to be school captain, too.

I got two lots of results back today.  I got 10/15 for my English oral!!  I was amazed.  I beat Karina, she only got 8.  But I only got 6/10 for my Biology microscopic sketch.  I hope I keep getting average marks.  It's better than failing.

We had Religious Instruction today.  I don't mind going to R.I.  It's pretty good.

I got a letter from Eric today.  He had nothing to say because he had 'a 10 page letter to write to Joanne'.  He may as well not even write to me.

10th March 1985 (Sunday)

I didn't do anything much today.  Just listened to my tapes, and watched TV.  In other words, I was very lazy!

Melissa went to her friend's place and she's staying there tonight.

I really can't wait to go to school tomorrow for two reasons: cheer squad practice and, most importantly, to see David.

9th March 1985 (Saturday)

Today at work I found out who the school captains are, Wayne Long and Kathy Bett.   Wayne works at the same supermarket as me and he's really cute and very nice!  He got a packet of Minties especially for me this morning.  I think it's great Wayne got the job as school captain but I don't agree with the choice of Kathy.  No one really likes her but she's teacher's pet so that must be how she got elected.

I saw Suzanne Flynn this morning and she said they're busy at the moment but they'll contact me soon.  Hughy (the third boy) also wants to learn piano now.  He's only 5 but said maybe 10 mins would be enough.  So I'll have 4 students.  That means I'll get $13.92 from my supermarket job, $12 from the three older piano students and $2 for Hughy.  So that's a total of $27.92 per week.  If the Flynns come every week!

We went to Mass at Ridgehaven tonight.  Afterwards we went up to visit Mum & Dad's friend's family, they live in Ridgehaven.  They have four children, James, Matthew, Gregory and Annabel.  They're all lovely children.  I really enjoyed it there.  James and Matthew showed me their skills on the organ and I played a bit.  The boys are really very good on the organ.

Kelly has found herself a deb partner, Mario Myall.  He's OK.  I don't know him very well.  He's about 19 I think.  Trish Stratton is the lucky girl who has the school captain!  She asked him a few days ago so she didn't know he'd get it.  I still can't stop thinking about David.  He's so wonderful!

8th March 1985 (Friday)

Today was one of those days which starts bad, but ends especially good!

To start with Paul sent Yoko a heap of photocopied letters and Yoko had to attach the personal page to the front and give them out.  Everyone got one but me.  That was really terrific!  I was supposed to be one of his best friends and even his not so close friends received a letter.  It's Paul's birthday today and Yoko's last day of school.  We had a party for her.  We had a cheer squad meeting, too, at lunch so we went to the party after that.  It's great being in the cheer squad!  Karina still can't get in though because she didn't attend the meeting yesterday.  But there's only about 7 grade 12's and 33 grade 11's and I think grade 12's should get in over grade 11's.  I'm glad we did go to Yoko's party afterwards because we saw David.  He's so wonderful.  Everyone was using his pen to write in Yoko's address book and he wanted to leave so he asked me to hold onto it for him.  After that we just had to go and find him (I didn't mind at all!!)  We're getting on so well with him.  When we found him he was talking to us a lot.  He's so funny.  A guy with a good sense of humour really turns me on.  I love it.  And David put his arms around me and Karina at the same time.  I can't remember why but who cares.  There's a big battle on between us now.  We've absolutely one crazy about him!!!!  He's just so great.  Words can't describe him.  Nick and Shane were up with David also and they were talking to us, too.  Nick and Shane are in our English class and we were divided into groups today (we had double English last).  Nick and Shane got put into my group.  They sat either side of me.  Kerri Cartwright has been hanging around Nick since the dance and Nick has been trying to get rid of her.  Anyway Nick told me this afternoon that he told her today.  He said he did it just for me (how sweet).  Shane and Nick kept mucking around all afternoon.  Suggesting things and putting their arms around me and their hands on my knee etc.  I don't mind.  It makes me feel wanted.  Nick was different towards me today. More like he was on the camp.  But now I'm a one man woman (as the saying goes). David is the only one for me (at the moment).  It's pretty amazing when you think about it, three guys put their arm around me today.  David, Nick and Shane.  I could talk all night about David but I better not.  I can't wait to see him on Monday.  I'm hoping being in the cheer squad will help me out with the social and romantic aspects of my life.  Well it could only make them better.  It couldn't make them worse because at the moment they're non existent!!

Yoko gave me a present today for her going away, and a card.  What she said on the card was really lovely.  I'll have to talk to her and tell her I wasn't using her and that I know about her and Paul.

I almost forgot! Karina got a letter from Paul S. yesterday and he really liked the letter.  But selfish Karina didn't say anything about me helping and I wrote half the bloody letter!  I couldn't believe it.  She wanted all the credit for herself.

I got the photo's back from the camp today.  Some of them are a bit disappointing and one in the hut didn't come out at all.  But generally they're pretty good.

7th March 1985 (Thursday)

It's only 4:45pm but I thought I'd write today's events so I don't have to after I get home tonight.

Today Melissa is 13 and Kelly is 17.  I'm going to miss Melissa's birthday party.  And I'm also going to miss 'Zapped' staring Scott Baio.  What a honey!!  I'm so disappointed.  Kelly got her learner's this morning.  She's so lucky.  I have to wait 8 month for mine.

I got into the cheer squad today.  We needed 40 and exactly 40 turned up to the meeting so we didn't have to audition.  I've got my uniform and everything now!  It's great.

Nick is being a bit disgusting lately.  He keeps telling everyone I tried to 'you-know-what' at camp.  David was away today.

(Later)
I've just arrived home from the theatre.  Forty grade 12's went down by bus to Brisbane to watch 'Death of a Salesman'. for English.  It was a good play but it wasn't really well done and the theatre was old and not very nice.  But overall it was pretty good.  During the interval we went over to the canteen and saw Paul Bongiorno and Kay McGrath from Channel 0 news.  We stood right beside TV stars!!!  How exciting.  One of the characters in the play (he must have been about 25 in real life) looked in our direction.  He saw me and glanced back again and after that he kept looking at me a lot.  We were in the second row and the stage was very close to the audience so he could see me well.  Every time he got the chance (when his role allowed him to face the audience) he looked at me!  He wasn't cute but it made me feel a bit better.  On the way home Gareth Weir & Matt Lefevre we're in front where we could see them and they are so cute!  But I got really upset on the bus because I realized that cute guys never talk to me and it would be impossible for me to talk to them.  I can talk easily to guys who aren't especially good looking, like Paul O'Leary, Bevan Bates, Mathew Winten & Nick Saxby.  But they often approach me and I can approach them too.  But a really cute guy would never ever come and talk to me. I don't think I'm ugly.  I'm certainly not beautiful but maybe slightly attractive.  Maybe all I want is a popular guy (who is always cute anyway), someone whom everyone likes and all the girls love.  But that's even ridiculous to think about!!  Geoff Mulroney is the only one who I can talk to although when I talk to him, everything I say is an effort to impress him.  And usually when I do that instead of being myself people don't like me as much.  But I always feel I have to impress a gorgeous guy.

6th March 1985 (Wednesday)

Today Karina and I invented a person (for Roselise)!  His name is Joey Parker.  I met him at the dance on Saturday.  Eric brought him down from his boarding school.  He's 17, nearly 18.  She fell for it hook, line and sinker.

We were going to see Mrs Brand about the cheer squad this morning but the principal kept back all the grade 12's.  And by the time he'd finished, she'd gone.  We were told to see her during lunch but we couldn't because of sport.  So we'll see her tomorrow.

I won my tennis match today.  We played cut-throat (Roselise, Karina & I) and I won.  The scores were Rose - 1, Kari - 4 , me - 6.

Today was I totally shamed out!  Karina and I were writing notes.  We were sitting with Bevan because he was helping us with our Maths (he's unusually smart) and Geoff Mulroney walked in.  I wrote "I love Geoff Mulroney's face and body."  Geoff came over to Bevan and he saw us pass the note so he tried to get it.  It was ripped and all he got was "Mulroney's".  Anyway he went and I wrote it again because Karina only got the ripped piece.  BUT Geoff came back (The Return of Geoff Mulroney) and saw it again, this time he got the whole note.  I was so embarrassed!  But he really is cute.

I didn't see David today.  He went to Bowenglen to play inter-school sport.  I don't know what sport he plays.  I'm glad I like him because it takes my mind off Eric.  I don't want him to know I like him because I'm quite sure it would ruin our friendship. 

It's Melissa's last day before she is a teenager.

5th March 1985 (Tuesday)

Today we were informed there is going to be a real cheer-squad with trials, practices, pom-poms, uniforms, routines and war-cries for the zone swimming carnival on the 15th.  There is a meeting tomorrow and I'll try out for sure!

Nick was writing obscene letters to us this arvo.  But we started it of course.  Towards the end they were getting very nasty!  He told me to wait until I got out of the classroom, he would kill me.  He said I'm being very nasty to him lately.  I have really because of what he did (but I think that was a lie, that's what I heard).

I like someone new now.  David Charles.  Karina does too, of course.  She, Jo and Roselise are the only ones that know.  I'll have to put Roselise off the track though because I don't want her to know.  She's bound to tell someone!

4th March 1985 (Monday)

I taught piano this afternoon.  John is coming along really well.  He understands anyway.  The other family still haven't contacted us.  I'll have to get Mum to ring and if they're not coming again I'll see if I can get some more students.

Nick is really disgusting.  He and Brad's cousin (Lee-ette Street), slept together.  I was really shocked.  I didn't think Nick was like that.  But I guess he must be.  All he thinks 'enjoying yourself' means is going out and drinking.  Just like Joanne.  She hasn't got to that stage yet but she's looking forward to it!  She makes me sick with all her stupid ideas.  She copies Donna and in my opinion they both need to grow up a bit.  I obviously won't be letting Joanne read this anymore.  I've been waiting to write this for ages.  She's a Catholic like me but she may as well not be.  She thinks there's  nothing wrong with living together before you're married, and also this drinking bit.

Roselise is the biggest dag in the world.  She tells me all about her 'love story' with Paul.  "I need him, I want him, but I'm not sure I still love him" and "I don't know if it's the experiences I had with him or if I really love him", and "I was giving Yoko a big lecture on love."  Oh God, if that's not enough to make anyone sick I don't know what is.  All this rubbish coming from a seventeen year old girl who acts thirteen.  WHAT A DAG!!

We were talking to David Charles in Maths (he was sitting with us).  He really is very nice!!  He's extremely funny. My man definitely must have a good sense of humour.  Like David or Eric.  I wish David and Shane would like me just to spite Roselise.  Because she thinks she can get any guy she wants.  I really do like David though.  But I won't say anything because I know for sure he still likes Janine.  They used to be a couple.

3rd March (Sunday)

Aunty Coralie, Owen & Trent visited Nan today.  They're my favourite cousins apart from Laura, but I never get to see her.  Anyway, today we were mucking around throwing stones and I threw one which hit Trent in the head.  It started bleeding but it wasn't bad.  Later on Aunty Cor saw it and asked him what happened.  He looked at me and said nothing.  He's only five and I thought that was so sweet of him.  Most kids would tell their mum straight away and try to make it sound like a real tragedy, but not my Trenty!  I told Aunty Cor what I did.  But I'll never forget that Trent tried to keep me out of trouble.

I forgot to mention, on Friday as I was walking away from my oral Adrian said to me, "Well done, Tara".  I know it wasn't very good but I was so flattered he said it to me.  And last night at the dance, Darren said, "That was a good oral you did".  It wasn't really which means they both just said it because they wanted to say something to me!  Either that or they were being sarcastic but I don't think they were.

2nd March 1985 (Saturday)

Well, this morning started fine!  Kelly had to go home sick from work.  She went out last night and had a little too much to drink.  Three other girls took turns in helping me in the deli.  I was in a real mess, I was so disorganized!

I came home and went to sleep ready for my "BIG NIGHT OUT" ?!  Half way through my peaceful sleep, Karina rang and being only half awake I ran into the wall on the way to the phone!!  She told me she couldn't come to the dance.  I had weird dreams today.  I don't usually dream when I sleep during the day.  But today I dreamt about Nick and Brett Johns (he's a real honey).  They both came here and ignored me.  It was more of a nightmare!

The dance wasn't bad, but it could have been better.  None of my friends (Karina or Joanne) went so I had to make conversation with the boys which is terribly boring when you've got no friends with you.  Streets went.  The idea of me and Paul getting together is ridiculous.  He's very nice but friendship is as far as it could possibly go.  I really do like Eric.  But I can't tell anyone because if he found out...it would ruin everything.  He's so easy to get along with.  He's exactly the kids of guy I like.  But I've got a fat chance with him.  He goes for sexy blondes.  At the moment he is the only guy I like.  I got a big shock tonight.  Shane Ludbrock usually goes to the dances but tonight Nick and Darren Brown came with him. Darren & I went to primary school together.  I had a crush on him for years.   Nick said hello but otherwise ignored me.  I think he's trying to hook onto Kerri Cartwright.  She's Matt's ex.  I had three dances with Paul, one (only one *sob*) with Eric and one with Shane.  I talked to Brett Johns, too.  He is so cute!  We talked about school captains.

1st March 1985 (Friday)

I am so glad today's over!!  We had an assignment, a test and an oral all on the one day.  I still haven't finished the assignment but I've only got a bit to do and I got the others over and done with!

Today we voted for school captains.  I'm absolutely positive I won't get it but there is a very slight chance.  I know of twelve definite votes and about 5 unsure ones, so that's about 17 out of 300.  But you never know.  I don't know about the teacher votes.  I'm not going to build up my hopes though.  Auditions for the school musical start next week.  I hope I get in.  The communications committee wrote our first article for the local paper.  It will be in next Wednesday's edition.

Mum rang Mrs Street tonight and I was going to talk to Paul.  But they had to stay at school for sport tomorrow.  But they'll be at the dance tomorrow night at Tooradin.

Karina lost her voice from cheering at the swimming carnival.  It was bad yesterday but even worse today.  She couldn't do the English oral for obvious reasons.

28th February 1985 (Thursday)

It's Natasha's birthday today.  She's 9.  We rang her and had a bit of a chat.

Aunty Kaye's friend Lenore Walker had a baby girl today.  It's her 3rd child.  They have Lorena, Liam and no name for this baby yet.

I've got an assignment, a test and an oral tomorrow and I didn't do anything about them until tonight.  They still aren't finished but I'll get there.  I got 7/10 for my Home Ec. sewing.

Today Nick was talking to Kelly and me and he was saying things like, "I heard about you lying on the bed with some bloke," to me.  But then he started whispering things like, "I want to go with Tara" and "Tara's so spunky", to Kelly.  I really hate when people (especially guys) make fun of me.  And Nick was certainly doing it well.  Then he showed Kelly how to do a basic computer program and he wrote "Tara's a dag".  I felt really awful and Kelly didn't even stick up for me like she normally does.  And it was when I really needed it, too!

Today it stormed and everyone got absolutely soaked walking down to the bus.  It was pouring .  It looked like we'd just jumped out of a pool.  Even my books in my bag got wet.

27th February 1985 (Wednesday)

Today nothing special happened apart from our school swimming carnival.  Our house came 3rd (there are only 4 houses).  I got really burnt and a slight case of sun stroke.

My assignments are really getting me down.  Especially Ancient History.  I'm going to see if I can drop it and do Geography instead.

Yesterday Bryant's recently-dropped girlfriend was talking to Melissa.  They're friends.  Melissa asked if she still liked Bryant and she said she did but she's not going to worry about him because next time he comes down he'll probably be after me!!! That's terrific.

Bevan Bates has been hanging around us a lot.  He may just like us as friends but I think (I'm not sure) that he likes one of us more than friends.  I hope it's Karina because he's the kid of guy I could never ever like more than a friend and I think Karina likes him anyway.