One minor change at work this morning. I start quarter of an hour earlier & Kell finishes quarter of an hour later. My times used to be 8:30 - 12:00 & Kelly's were 8:15 - 11:45 but now we're both 8:15 - 12:00. I don't mind at all.
Then after work I had to wait while Melissa played netball. So I took my homework with me. Didn't do much though. I wrote a bit more of my English speech then wrote a letter to David. Then I tried to go to sleep because I was unusually tired (I did all this in the car). And when we got home I had a 2 hour sleep. So by the time I woke up I didn't have much time to do all the homework I wanted to get done before we went to Mass at Ridgehaven. I didn't do any when we got home either because I watched "Hey, Hey, It's Saturday." Unreal show!!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
26th April 1985 (Friday)
Today's the kind of day which seemed to drag on forever because so many different things happened.
Karina wasn't at school today because she had a Geography excursion. That means half of the grade 12s weren't there. Plus, the zone football trials were held at our school so we had teachers missing and lessons watching football etc. So today was pretty jumbled. Anyway I got half of my English speech for Monday written. I saw the Guidance Officer today about Ancient History but he hasn't seen my teacher yet so I'll have to see him again on Monday.
After lunch we had double English but our teacher was away so we had a study first then we watched football. I couldn't pick out any exceptionally good looking guys. When I was waiting at the bus turn-around after school I was standing next to a footballers' bus. I wish I was pretty because they were calling out to all the pretty girls and I just stood there looking ugly. And I got myself all depressed, and wouldn't talk to Joanne on the bus. But then I complained to her about me being so ugly & such a dag. And she was really terrific. She really made me feel better. Mainly because we were mucking around. We have a lot of fun when we muck around, but that's not very often anymore because of Kate (yes, you detect a sign of resentment).
Anyway, to make my good mood even better, I found another letter for me when I got home. But, surprise, surprise, it wasn't from Ann or Yoko or Paul O'Leary or even Eric, but Paul Street!! I was quite surprised because I didn't even write to him first. A guy actually wrote to me without me writing first!!! I was stunned. But it wasn't a very exciting letter. Although he did have one point of interest, David Parker. In my letter to Eric I told him to say a special hi to David etc. Paul read Eric's letter and told me David said to say hi to me and he'll write to me IF (of course) I write first. And you can be sure I will!! In Eric's letter I also told him to tell Paul I was first for the deb. But in Paul's letter he said he already knew. Don't know how. But that's something I can ask when I write back.
Deb practice was great tonight. It's really fun. I love it!!
I paid my deposit for the ski trip today. I'm going to the Snowies with the school in August!!! It should be fantastic!
Karina wasn't at school today because she had a Geography excursion. That means half of the grade 12s weren't there. Plus, the zone football trials were held at our school so we had teachers missing and lessons watching football etc. So today was pretty jumbled. Anyway I got half of my English speech for Monday written. I saw the Guidance Officer today about Ancient History but he hasn't seen my teacher yet so I'll have to see him again on Monday.
After lunch we had double English but our teacher was away so we had a study first then we watched football. I couldn't pick out any exceptionally good looking guys. When I was waiting at the bus turn-around after school I was standing next to a footballers' bus. I wish I was pretty because they were calling out to all the pretty girls and I just stood there looking ugly. And I got myself all depressed, and wouldn't talk to Joanne on the bus. But then I complained to her about me being so ugly & such a dag. And she was really terrific. She really made me feel better. Mainly because we were mucking around. We have a lot of fun when we muck around, but that's not very often anymore because of Kate (yes, you detect a sign of resentment).
Anyway, to make my good mood even better, I found another letter for me when I got home. But, surprise, surprise, it wasn't from Ann or Yoko or Paul O'Leary or even Eric, but Paul Street!! I was quite surprised because I didn't even write to him first. A guy actually wrote to me without me writing first!!! I was stunned. But it wasn't a very exciting letter. Although he did have one point of interest, David Parker. In my letter to Eric I told him to say a special hi to David etc. Paul read Eric's letter and told me David said to say hi to me and he'll write to me IF (of course) I write first. And you can be sure I will!! In Eric's letter I also told him to tell Paul I was first for the deb. But in Paul's letter he said he already knew. Don't know how. But that's something I can ask when I write back.
Deb practice was great tonight. It's really fun. I love it!!
I paid my deposit for the ski trip today. I'm going to the Snowies with the school in August!!! It should be fantastic!
25th April 1985 (Thursday)
This morning, I, amazingly, did some homework. I did some Maths. But I didn't do anything else until Mrs Willett picked us up at 12:30 for musical practice (by the way, today is ANZAC Day, so there's no school). Practice went until 5:00 from 1:00. Marcus (Geoff's friend) also went in with us. The practice was really fun. I thought I was only in two scenes but I discovered I'm in four. And I sing two songs. Not solos, of course, only in the chorus. Anyway, by the time we got home at 5:30 I didn't feel like doing anything, so I didn't. Mum brought us home.
24th April 1985 (Wednesday)
Today was very busy. First of all we had sport. I didn't take my racquet so I was going to do some Maths. But instead I wrote a letter to Eric from Karina (she dictated). I told her to put stuff in about David Parker.
After that we had a committee meeting. We just wrote down ideas for the newspaper. It should be good if we do it right.
Then I had musical practice after school. Not many people turned up which was maddening because we go on stage in four weeks!! And it's not very far advanced.
Then the good news for the day. When I got home I found a letter from Eric. This is totally amazing because he posted mine at noon yesterday and he would have got mine yesterday after he sent his. We even wrote them on the same day. And we wrote a letter to him today. That's three co-incidences.
This morning Karina & I had to put up the flag at assembly because we had an army captain coming to talk to us about ANZAC Day tomorrow. And because we were the closest people around we were the ones who got sucked in. Total embarrassment!!
Tonight I started sewing my jamies. I almost finished the top & it's very late & I'm very tired. So, goodnight.
After that we had a committee meeting. We just wrote down ideas for the newspaper. It should be good if we do it right.
Then I had musical practice after school. Not many people turned up which was maddening because we go on stage in four weeks!! And it's not very far advanced.
Then the good news for the day. When I got home I found a letter from Eric. This is totally amazing because he posted mine at noon yesterday and he would have got mine yesterday after he sent his. We even wrote them on the same day. And we wrote a letter to him today. That's three co-incidences.
This morning Karina & I had to put up the flag at assembly because we had an army captain coming to talk to us about ANZAC Day tomorrow. And because we were the closest people around we were the ones who got sucked in. Total embarrassment!!
Tonight I started sewing my jamies. I almost finished the top & it's very late & I'm very tired. So, goodnight.
23rd April 1985 (Tuesday)
Today was very uninteresting. Mum saw the Guidance Officer today. And I got out of one lesson of Accounting to go down. I still don't know it I can drop Ancient History or not. He has to talk to my teacher to see if I'm likely to fail or pass. I hope I'll probably fail because then I can drop it. I really hate Ancient History so much. It's all above my level of comprehension.
I had musical practice today. My part is not as easy as I thought. It's pretty difficult being a cool, sophisticated, criminal.
We had our first communications committee meeting with the teacher today. He suggested putting out a real newspaper. Not like the previous ones which were just photocopied foolscap sheets about grade 12s mainly. This year we're going to set it out like a real newspaper and have articles about all grades so it involves everyone. We're even getting the the local newspaper to print it.
Other than this, nothing happened today.
I had musical practice today. My part is not as easy as I thought. It's pretty difficult being a cool, sophisticated, criminal.
We had our first communications committee meeting with the teacher today. He suggested putting out a real newspaper. Not like the previous ones which were just photocopied foolscap sheets about grade 12s mainly. This year we're going to set it out like a real newspaper and have articles about all grades so it involves everyone. We're even getting the the local newspaper to print it.
Other than this, nothing happened today.
22nd April 1985 (Monday)
Life's a drag! Nothing's going well at the moment. I find when no body pays any attention to me I try to attract it to myself. I get into crazy moods and laugh a lot and do crazy & stupid things. I appear to be happy but it's only a front. I feel dumb because I act stupid. I know how I act is wrong and so does everyone else. I'm not saying I act silly like the tough, rough girls and I don't attract the attention of everyone around me. Only maybe my friends. But I feel so bad because I know I'm deceiving myself. I act happy when I know damn well I'm miserable. It's guys who get me down. Nick, David, Bevan and Mathew and all those guys used to talk to us a lot, but now we may as well be 'incredible, invisible women'.
We were supposed to have musical practice today but Mr Woodworth was away.
Mum went to see our Guidance Officer today to see about me dropping Ancient History. But he wasn't there so she'll have to see him tomorrow.
I got to school very early today. Mum went to Brisbane & dropped me off on the way. I wanted to go to the library to work on my term paper. I went to the library but I didn't work on my term paper.
We were supposed to have musical practice today but Mr Woodworth was away.
Mum went to see our Guidance Officer today to see about me dropping Ancient History. But he wasn't there so she'll have to see him tomorrow.
I got to school very early today. Mum went to Brisbane & dropped me off on the way. I wanted to go to the library to work on my term paper. I went to the library but I didn't work on my term paper.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
21 April 1985 (Sunday)
Nothing exciting happened today. I didn't go anywhere, do anything etc. Danny came out this morning. Our neighbour came up with her very recent future daughter-in-law to give us flowers for having the men here. Last night after the wedding their son told them he's getting married, in America! That was big excitement for everyone.
I still didn't do any homework. I'll write a letter to Eric and go to bed.
I still didn't do any homework. I'll write a letter to Eric and go to bed.
20th April 1985 (Saturday)
Work was pretty OK this morning. It was cold though. the cold weather has just hit us all of a sudden.
Mum & Dad had another wedding today. The next door neighbour's daughter. The men got dressed here & they used Aunty Kaye & Uncle Frank's car.
Nothing else happened today. I didn't do any homework, of course.
Mum & Dad had another wedding today. The next door neighbour's daughter. The men got dressed here & they used Aunty Kaye & Uncle Frank's car.
Nothing else happened today. I didn't do any homework, of course.
19th April 1985 (Friday)
Things are not going well with Nick. But as I said, I don't really care. We got our reports today. Mine was very average.
Deb practice was the highlight of my day. I was hoping that because I'm Aunty Kaye's niece it would give me a bit more attention. but it didn't really. I went with Aunty Kaye & Lenore because Mum & Dad are very special tongiht and have gone to the state reception for the Duke & Duchess of Kent!! Anyway, back to the practice. The first thing taht hppened was a draw for the order of presentation of the debs. I was sor of hoping I was first (more attention) and I WAS!! I nearly died! But I'm kind of glad in a way. The preactice was really fun. I was hoping it would be. But then it had to be with Aunty Kaye & Lenore. I adore them both. We (Aunty Kaye & I) went back to Lenore's place and had a cup of tea. Theyr'e erealy great. They make me feel like an adult.
Disappointment for the night: Wayne Long (school captain, really cute, Trish's partner) came to practice but after practice was over found out the ball was in the holidays and he's going on a school trip then. Aunty Kaye was shattered because he was coming along very well and she really liked him.
Deb practice was the highlight of my day. I was hoping that because I'm Aunty Kaye's niece it would give me a bit more attention. but it didn't really. I went with Aunty Kaye & Lenore because Mum & Dad are very special tongiht and have gone to the state reception for the Duke & Duchess of Kent!! Anyway, back to the practice. The first thing taht hppened was a draw for the order of presentation of the debs. I was sor of hoping I was first (more attention) and I WAS!! I nearly died! But I'm kind of glad in a way. The preactice was really fun. I was hoping it would be. But then it had to be with Aunty Kaye & Lenore. I adore them both. We (Aunty Kaye & I) went back to Lenore's place and had a cup of tea. Theyr'e erealy great. They make me feel like an adult.
Disappointment for the night: Wayne Long (school captain, really cute, Trish's partner) came to practice but after practice was over found out the ball was in the holidays and he's going on a school trip then. Aunty Kaye was shattered because he was coming along very well and she really liked him.
18th April 1985 (Thursday)
Nothing's important anymore except for school. Guys are the least of my worries right now. they drive me crazy so I'm forgetting all about them.
I had my piano lesson this afternoon. I didn't do enough practice. I'm just born lazy!
I had my piano lesson this afternoon. I didn't do enough practice. I'm just born lazy!
17th April 1985 (Wednesday)
I laughed a lot today which means I had a good day, until lunch time anyway. David talked to us today!! It was really great. I do still like him. And a lot more than Nick! David's perfect (to me anyway). There isn't a thing about him I don't like. Except maybe his green eyes. But that's not important. I only wish it could be like today every day. We only spoke to him for one lesson but it was great! He's so different to Nick. He's not obsessed with sex. Wendy told me that when he was going with Janine he used to send her flowers for her birthday, and did romantic things like that. I think that's really beautiful. Not many guys these days would do something like that. The reason Janine and David broke up was because Janine didn't want to get too serious and David was. I think (I can't be sure) that Janine took David for granted. He needs someone who would appreciate him. And, of course, I would be just the right person. I wish he had the same opinion!
Nick went away to play sport today. He plays cricket. He didn't say much to us today but then we didn't see him much.
Nick went away to play sport today. He plays cricket. He didn't say much to us today but then we didn't see him much.
16th April 1985 (Tuesday)
Today was mostly occupied with Nick. I don't know what to think about him! He's obsessed with sex. In English (first lesson) our teacher was away so we wrote notes to Nick. It went something like this:
Darling Nick,
How are ya going, love? Put your hair on the side again tomorrow so I can call you cutie.
Love Tara
Nick (cutie-pie),
What are you doing today? If you've got $15 I'm free at lunch time.
Love Karina
Come to Mr Dean's (new teacher) party and I can share you both for about $50.
Nick
Nick,
Sorry, I've just remembered I'm busy Sunday. Maybe some other time.
Love Karina
I'm free!!!
Love Tara
I'll give you this and much more at the party.
Love Nick
If you define 'more' I'll think about it.
Love Tara
It depends on what mood I'm in and how much drink I can get.
Nick
I'm all yours, tiger.
Love Tara
I'll show you my manliness at the party.
Love Nick
Is that possible?
Karina
End of note. I was just mucking around and that's not 'typical me'. I was being 'daring' writing that. But that's definitely 'typical Nick'. He's always like that. I wish he could talk about something else. All he ever talks about is what I previously mentioned or school. Unusual combination, but it's true! I don't know what he thinks of me but I prefer not to think about that. I only like to consider my feelings for guys instead of getting myself all worried about how they feel about me. It's impossible to know unless they're asked and that ruins everything so, it's better forget it!
I had musical practice at lunch time. It went fairly well.
Joanne and I got along alright today. She was more friendly towards me today.
Wendy Harvey gave Geoff and me a letter about the church youth group. I'm really interested in going. I think it would be great. I found out something very interesting today. It's about when we went to the movies with youth group. Wendy & I were the oldest on the bus (apart from the driver) so 'we' mainly Wendy, were supervisors. So we sat at the back and I happened to sit next to Mark McKenzie. He's in grade 10 and goes to the Catholic high school in a neighboring town. Anyway, he's very cute and has a lot of adoring little girlfriends. And one happened to mention "how close that girl was sitting next to him" to Wendy. I thought that was extrememly funny. Little girls are jealous of me sitting next to a little boy two years younger!
Melissa saw her teacher that plays football today and asked how his knee is. He said it's not good. He's had two operations and is having physio and they'll see if he can play in a month. But there's no promises. It's really disappointing for everyone. He's cute too!! Melissa said hello to him from me today. I didn't even tell her to!
Darling Nick,
How are ya going, love? Put your hair on the side again tomorrow so I can call you cutie.
Love Tara
Nick (cutie-pie),
What are you doing today? If you've got $15 I'm free at lunch time.
Love Karina
Come to Mr Dean's (new teacher) party and I can share you both for about $50.
Nick
Nick,
Sorry, I've just remembered I'm busy Sunday. Maybe some other time.
Love Karina
I'm free!!!
Love Tara
I'll give you this and much more at the party.
Love Nick
If you define 'more' I'll think about it.
Love Tara
It depends on what mood I'm in and how much drink I can get.
Nick
I'm all yours, tiger.
Love Tara
I'll show you my manliness at the party.
Love Nick
Is that possible?
Karina
End of note. I was just mucking around and that's not 'typical me'. I was being 'daring' writing that. But that's definitely 'typical Nick'. He's always like that. I wish he could talk about something else. All he ever talks about is what I previously mentioned or school. Unusual combination, but it's true! I don't know what he thinks of me but I prefer not to think about that. I only like to consider my feelings for guys instead of getting myself all worried about how they feel about me. It's impossible to know unless they're asked and that ruins everything so, it's better forget it!
I had musical practice at lunch time. It went fairly well.
Joanne and I got along alright today. She was more friendly towards me today.
Wendy Harvey gave Geoff and me a letter about the church youth group. I'm really interested in going. I think it would be great. I found out something very interesting today. It's about when we went to the movies with youth group. Wendy & I were the oldest on the bus (apart from the driver) so 'we' mainly Wendy, were supervisors. So we sat at the back and I happened to sit next to Mark McKenzie. He's in grade 10 and goes to the Catholic high school in a neighboring town. Anyway, he's very cute and has a lot of adoring little girlfriends. And one happened to mention "how close that girl was sitting next to him" to Wendy. I thought that was extrememly funny. Little girls are jealous of me sitting next to a little boy two years younger!
Melissa saw her teacher that plays football today and asked how his knee is. He said it's not good. He's had two operations and is having physio and they'll see if he can play in a month. But there's no promises. It's really disappointing for everyone. He's cute too!! Melissa said hello to him from me today. I didn't even tell her to!
15th April 1985 (Monday)
I was in such a hurry this morning. I got Dad to wake me up before he went to the dairy so I could finish my Accounting assignment but I went back to sleep and didn't wake again until 7:15. I didn't quite get it finished but I finished it at school. Only to find out our teacher gave us until Wednesday. But at least I've finished. I didn't even have breakfast this morning, and had to starve until morning tea. I only had a muesli bar and Nick ate half of it anyway. Once school starts after holidays, it doesn't even feel like I've had a break. But it was fairly good to get back to school. Karina and I are getting along just great. I can't say the same about Joanne, though. I realized that I can either like Joanne OR Karina. I can't handle the two of them at the same time. It's strange, I know. But they're both so different. They're completely opposite. My whole way of thinking has to change between Joanne and Karina and I just can't live like that. I feel like a split personality. It has to be one way or the other. That means Joanne or Karina. And Karina's ideas and values are more like mine than Joanne's. Maybe Joanne will change one day. Who knows? But right now she's not going to influence me. Which is really what she was doing when Karina & I weren't talking. Kari and I had a talk about it today and she's not sore at me or anything. It's really great.
I feel very guilty at the moment. We got our Maths tests back and I (amazingly) passed! But not by as much as I did. What I mean is my teacher added it wrong, and I gained 2 1/2 marks extra. I got 23/40 instead 20 1/2 / 40. Karina wasn't very pleased with me. She got 20 but scabbed another 1/2 mark. So we really were equal but mine said a higher mark. She wanted me to tell him but I do bad enough so any extra's I can get I'd rather keep them.
David's really snobbing us. He never said a thing to us all day. Nick is great though he came and said hello. He's always, well, 'all over me' sort of. But I know he doesn't like me because he's always suggesting guys to me. Like anyone who walks by he says ,'There goes one for you, Tara." I can't work him out.
I feel very guilty at the moment. We got our Maths tests back and I (amazingly) passed! But not by as much as I did. What I mean is my teacher added it wrong, and I gained 2 1/2 marks extra. I got 23/40 instead 20 1/2 / 40. Karina wasn't very pleased with me. She got 20 but scabbed another 1/2 mark. So we really were equal but mine said a higher mark. She wanted me to tell him but I do bad enough so any extra's I can get I'd rather keep them.
David's really snobbing us. He never said a thing to us all day. Nick is great though he came and said hello. He's always, well, 'all over me' sort of. But I know he doesn't like me because he's always suggesting guys to me. Like anyone who walks by he says ,'There goes one for you, Tara." I can't work him out.
14th April 1985 (Sunday)
Boring day today. I watched TV for the most part of it. I was trying to catch up on my Maths homework at the same time but I still haven't done it all. Karina rang me today about our Accounting assignment which I haven't done but I couldn't help her. She didn't sound very happy on the phone. Maybe she doesn't like me as much anymore. Who knows? Anyway I guess I'll find out tomorrow.
We went to mass at Hilldale tonight. It was very good tonight. We had a change. An absolutely gorgeous missionary priest did the sermon. It was a very good and interesting and he was so cute! Funny too. Joanne was there and I tried to be friendly but she wasn't really interested in talking to me anyway so I went to the car, again. Seems to be becoming a popular pastime of mine.
When we got home I tried my Accounting assignment (it's a computer programming assignment). Nick had done it for me but he forgot a few lines and it took me awhile to get it right. I still haven't written it up yet. I'll have to get up early to get it finished.
Well, school again tomorrow. I really wish we still had another week of holidays so I could get some work done. But I probably wouldn't anyway so it doesn't really matter.
We went to mass at Hilldale tonight. It was very good tonight. We had a change. An absolutely gorgeous missionary priest did the sermon. It was a very good and interesting and he was so cute! Funny too. Joanne was there and I tried to be friendly but she wasn't really interested in talking to me anyway so I went to the car, again. Seems to be becoming a popular pastime of mine.
When we got home I tried my Accounting assignment (it's a computer programming assignment). Nick had done it for me but he forgot a few lines and it took me awhile to get it right. I still haven't written it up yet. I'll have to get up early to get it finished.
Well, school again tomorrow. I really wish we still had another week of holidays so I could get some work done. But I probably wouldn't anyway so it doesn't really matter.
13th April 1985 (Saturday)
Kelly was at work this morning and (amazingly) feeling fine. She said she was a good girl and didn't drink much last night.
Today we were a tourist attraction. (Not really but it sounds good). Aunty Marie and Uncle Warren (who drives a bus for a tour company) brought a bus load to tour the farm. It's so exciting when there's a bus load of over 80's or under 10's! I've always dreamt about people coming and 'touring' the farm and now it's really happened.
Tonight was the biggest disaster. Honestly, I can't understand why I go out at all. I've written about so many disasters in my diary that anyone would think I should have learned a lesson by now. I wish I'd just be sensible and STAY HOME!! Of course I'm talking about Jo's brother Steven's party. At first I thought it would be pretty good because Jo and I are 'good friends' (supposedly). But then I found out Kate was going also. I thought that wouldn't be too bad because Jo, Kate and I get along OK. So I thought I wouldn't get left out too much. BUT, I was wrong!! Half the time I may as well have not even been there. And to make it worse Kate was staying at Joanne's place, which makes them forget about me. I felt so terrible. I tried following them around for awhile, but that didn't work. They kept getting drinks and didn't even ask if I'd like one. But I guess they thought "daggy, goody-goody" Tara wouldn't want any. So I ended up going inside and watching "Hey, Hey It's Saturday" until 12 o'clock. Then we (me & Melissa) went back out to find them all raging away. They were all dancing and having a great time. And I just felt even more left out. So I went to the car. But my favourite song came on and so I decided to go back and join them. Karen (a hairdresser who is a year older than me and used to go on our bus) made me feel just great! She came up to me and put her arm around me and said, "C'mon, what's your name?" and had to ask Joanne what my name was. Well, if I didn't already feel like a nobody!! Who am I anyway? What am I doing here? I don't even know what I want, or what I should be doing, or wearing, or saying, or anything! Everyone was so trendy tonight apart from daggy old me. But Mum thinks I'm over fashionable! That's a laugh. I don't know what to do. What Mum says or follow my friends!?! I don't even know if I want to be like them. But I feel awful if I'm not. All I want is to be like everyone else and for everyone to know me and like me. But I'm only Tara Benning, a nobody. What am I supposed to do? I'm so confused!! Who am I! I don't know who I am!
Today we were a tourist attraction. (Not really but it sounds good). Aunty Marie and Uncle Warren (who drives a bus for a tour company) brought a bus load to tour the farm. It's so exciting when there's a bus load of over 80's or under 10's! I've always dreamt about people coming and 'touring' the farm and now it's really happened.
Tonight was the biggest disaster. Honestly, I can't understand why I go out at all. I've written about so many disasters in my diary that anyone would think I should have learned a lesson by now. I wish I'd just be sensible and STAY HOME!! Of course I'm talking about Jo's brother Steven's party. At first I thought it would be pretty good because Jo and I are 'good friends' (supposedly). But then I found out Kate was going also. I thought that wouldn't be too bad because Jo, Kate and I get along OK. So I thought I wouldn't get left out too much. BUT, I was wrong!! Half the time I may as well have not even been there. And to make it worse Kate was staying at Joanne's place, which makes them forget about me. I felt so terrible. I tried following them around for awhile, but that didn't work. They kept getting drinks and didn't even ask if I'd like one. But I guess they thought "daggy, goody-goody" Tara wouldn't want any. So I ended up going inside and watching "Hey, Hey It's Saturday" until 12 o'clock. Then we (me & Melissa) went back out to find them all raging away. They were all dancing and having a great time. And I just felt even more left out. So I went to the car. But my favourite song came on and so I decided to go back and join them. Karen (a hairdresser who is a year older than me and used to go on our bus) made me feel just great! She came up to me and put her arm around me and said, "C'mon, what's your name?" and had to ask Joanne what my name was. Well, if I didn't already feel like a nobody!! Who am I anyway? What am I doing here? I don't even know what I want, or what I should be doing, or wearing, or saying, or anything! Everyone was so trendy tonight apart from daggy old me. But Mum thinks I'm over fashionable! That's a laugh. I don't know what to do. What Mum says or follow my friends!?! I don't even know if I want to be like them. But I feel awful if I'm not. All I want is to be like everyone else and for everyone to know me and like me. But I'm only Tara Benning, a nobody. What am I supposed to do? I'm so confused!! Who am I! I don't know who I am!
Monday, April 12, 2010
12th April 1985 (Friday)
We went shopping today. Just Mum & I. We went to Gardams and they had exactly the dress I had been wanting. I tried it on and it did suit me although it was a bit big. We bought all the material for it and the gloves. They look so tiny but they stretch to fit. Mum wasn't looking forward to buying the shoes because I've got such a tiny foot and coming into winter, white's not such a popular colour. So she didn't fancy our chances. But, oddly enough, the first pair I tried on fitted perfectly and I loved them. And as a bonus they weren't too expensive. Then we went to look for a pair of baggies for me. I usually have trouble finding jeans to suit me because I'm only short (and fat). But the third pair I tried on were really great. Of course I have to be different though, no ordinary size will do me. I got size 9!! Then, of course we had to go to Palings. We can't go to Brisbane without going to Palings. I bought Olivia's latest album in written music for the piano. I played some this afternoon. They aren't very good on piano but they're OK.
Joanne rang me this afternoon. She wants the Nik Kershaw tape for Steven's party tomorrow night. So I'll take it when we go. I spoke with her for quite a while but I wouldn't have a clue how long.
Joanne rang me this afternoon. She wants the Nik Kershaw tape for Steven's party tomorrow night. So I'll take it when we go. I spoke with her for quite a while but I wouldn't have a clue how long.
11th April 1985 (Thursday)
I'm so lazy!! I did nothing today except go to my piano lesson and I did some taping for Joanne. At my lesson my teacher was telling me about a friend of theirs who's a male model and works on The New Price Is Right. She said he's also appeared on Star Search as a spokes model. He may have been going to their place this afternoon but of course I missed him!
I read a lot today. I've only got one chapter left of the book I started this morning. I'll finish it before I go to sleep. It's late though and I have to be up early in the morning because we're going shopping in Brisbane for deb stuff.
I read a lot today. I've only got one chapter left of the book I started this morning. I'll finish it before I go to sleep. It's late though and I have to be up early in the morning because we're going shopping in Brisbane for deb stuff.
10th April 1985 (Wednesday)
I went to the chiropractor this morning. He said my back wasn't too bad but my neck was pretty stiff. I went to a new one, he was really good. I used to go to one at Sunnybank but it's a bit far to go.
I wrote to Ann and Paul & Yoko (in the same letter). I hope they write back soon. I'll have to write to Eric soon, when school starts.
This afternoon I had a very bad headache and was very tired. I was kind of hoping I'm getting glandular fever but I feel alright now so it was probably nothing.
We all watched the football tonight because our teacher was playing for Valleys. He has been for awhile but we only just recently know him. Melissa has him for metal work and he's her favourite teacher. Geoff has him for a study and he thinks he's great. But the bad thing is he was injured and had to be taken off the field. He received a knee injury. I hope it's not too bad. He'll probably be back at school on crutches next Monday.
I wrote to Ann and Paul & Yoko (in the same letter). I hope they write back soon. I'll have to write to Eric soon, when school starts.
This afternoon I had a very bad headache and was very tired. I was kind of hoping I'm getting glandular fever but I feel alright now so it was probably nothing.
We all watched the football tonight because our teacher was playing for Valleys. He has been for awhile but we only just recently know him. Melissa has him for metal work and he's her favourite teacher. Geoff has him for a study and he thinks he's great. But the bad thing is he was injured and had to be taken off the field. He received a knee injury. I hope it's not too bad. He'll probably be back at school on crutches next Monday.
9th April 1985 (Tuesday)
Something different today. We went to town! We all had dentists appointments. I was sure I was going to get another filling, but lucky for me, I was wrong. I got some material to make winter jamies, too. I love sewing. Geoff had a haircut today and I saw Kelly at the hairdresser's. I saw Nick, too. He came over to talk to me. He was on his lunch break from the supermarket. I don't know if I like him or not. I'm always looking for him at school and we get on very well. But I think friendship will have to satisfy me. We went up to Grandma's for awhile also. When we got home I went to sleep in front of the TV for 1 1/2 hours. I am always tired lately. We went to the town library to look for term paper information. I only found one book. Other grade 12's must have the good ones. I also borrowed two novels.
I cut Melissa's hair again tonight, shorter at the back. I also cut mine and got Mum to trim the back. It's almost all one layer at the back now. While Mum was cutting mine she told me not to be too fashionable. "The ball's coming up and a conservative style would look much better." My hair is very conservative! I like to be fashionable but it's by no means over done. And while I was in the shower Mum told Melissa not to be too outlandish with her hairstyles. I'd hardly call a short 'bob' outlandish!
I cut Melissa's hair again tonight, shorter at the back. I also cut mine and got Mum to trim the back. It's almost all one layer at the back now. While Mum was cutting mine she told me not to be too fashionable. "The ball's coming up and a conservative style would look much better." My hair is very conservative! I like to be fashionable but it's by no means over done. And while I was in the shower Mum told Melissa not to be too outlandish with her hairstyles. I'd hardly call a short 'bob' outlandish!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
8th April (Monday)
Didn't do much today. I woke up really late (9.00) which I hate doing. I had a very strange dream this morning, just before I woke up. We were on a grade 12 camp but it was here which wasn't here (if you get what I mean). We were locked up in a room, it was like a jail cell but a bit more comfortable. Every time a boy and girl were caught doing anything they were locked up. I was caught wih Nick. Our room had almost every girl in the camp in it. But the strange thing was that when parents came to pick us up we didn't want to leave. We really enjoyed it in there. Karina and Roselise were there. And most of the girls in our grade. Weird!!
I did a Home Ec. title page, for the last unit! I'll do this unit's tomorrow. I did my piano practice (slightly). I made a doll's dress. I was in a sewing mood. I watched a bit of TV (not much). I played computer games. I jumped on the trampoline. I didn't play tennis. And that's about all for today.
I did a Home Ec. title page, for the last unit! I'll do this unit's tomorrow. I did my piano practice (slightly). I made a doll's dress. I was in a sewing mood. I watched a bit of TV (not much). I played computer games. I jumped on the trampoline. I didn't play tennis. And that's about all for today.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
7th April 1984 (Easter Sunday)
We got Easter eggs today! I'm fat and pimply enough already, imagine what I'll look like after Easter!! And I have to go to the dentist on Tuesday.
We had Easter lunch at Nan's today. Relatives came up again. The people there were Nan's sister, her husband, their son, his wife, their two children, Nan's other sister, her daughter, her husband (and a teacher at school), their four children, Aunty Cor, Owen & Trent, Aunty Kaye, Uncle Frank, Nan, Kevin, Dad, Mum, Geoff, Melissa and ME!
We played tennis again today! We've got the 'get fit bug'.
Mass was at Ridgehaven tonight. Eric & Paul were there. So was Joanne & Kate. Also David Parker and Craig Timbs, they both go to boarding school and I used to like them too (at different times of course!).
Geoff reckons I think 99% of the population is cute. I don't, that's not possible because only about 52% are male and I don't really go for anything else! Eric told David I think he's a cutie (I told him) and he blushed. So Eric said, but that doesn't mean much.
We had Easter lunch at Nan's today. Relatives came up again. The people there were Nan's sister, her husband, their son, his wife, their two children, Nan's other sister, her daughter, her husband (and a teacher at school), their four children, Aunty Cor, Owen & Trent, Aunty Kaye, Uncle Frank, Nan, Kevin, Dad, Mum, Geoff, Melissa and ME!
We played tennis again today! We've got the 'get fit bug'.
Mass was at Ridgehaven tonight. Eric & Paul were there. So was Joanne & Kate. Also David Parker and Craig Timbs, they both go to boarding school and I used to like them too (at different times of course!).
Geoff reckons I think 99% of the population is cute. I don't, that's not possible because only about 52% are male and I don't really go for anything else! Eric told David I think he's a cutie (I told him) and he blushed. So Eric said, but that doesn't mean much.
6th April 1985 ( Saturday)
Janelle Dryden came up to Nan's today because her mother had to go out (her mother is Nan's hairdresser). We know her because she goes on the bus and we talk to her a fair bit. She's a year older than Melissa. Melissa and I had to entertain her!?! I did a good job. I went to sleep for a few hours. I was really tired! We played tennis again (Janelle came too). I won again.
We went to a dance tonight. It wasn't as good as I thought. Not many young people went. Eric & Paul and Jo & Kate were the only ones I knew. I only had 3 dances. Two with Paul and one with Eric. Eric asked me why I hadn't written but he wasn't angry. He told me someone told him about me & Karina fighting but wouldn't tell me who. He eventually did. It was Arlene. Scott Brady went to the dance too. (I used to like him). I told Jo & Kate he was cute and he saw us all looking at him. He didn't know what was happening. But after that he kept looking at me, he probably thought I was a jerk!
Today was really great because it was the first Saturday in months I haven't had to work! I got to watch Saturday Jukebox. I cut Melissa's hair today.
We went to a dance tonight. It wasn't as good as I thought. Not many young people went. Eric & Paul and Jo & Kate were the only ones I knew. I only had 3 dances. Two with Paul and one with Eric. Eric asked me why I hadn't written but he wasn't angry. He told me someone told him about me & Karina fighting but wouldn't tell me who. He eventually did. It was Arlene. Scott Brady went to the dance too. (I used to like him). I told Jo & Kate he was cute and he saw us all looking at him. He didn't know what was happening. But after that he kept looking at me, he probably thought I was a jerk!
Today was really great because it was the first Saturday in months I haven't had to work! I got to watch Saturday Jukebox. I cut Melissa's hair today.
Monday, April 5, 2010
5th April 1985 (Friday)
First day of holidays and boy did it feel good!
It's Good Friday so we went to Stations of the Cross at Ridgehaven this morning.
After we came home I did some cooking. I made chocolate fudge and caramels. The fudge worked OK but my caramels always have to be scouped out of the tray with the fingers.
Melissa and I had a game of tennis after that. I beat her 6-1 but that's understandable because I'm older and I play a lot more often.
Mrs Street rang Mum tonight to say they're going to the dance tomorrow night. She also said the Brother at the college won't allow Paul home every week for practices. We already assumed that. I'm glad really because I don't like Paul very much.
It's Good Friday so we went to Stations of the Cross at Ridgehaven this morning.
After we came home I did some cooking. I made chocolate fudge and caramels. The fudge worked OK but my caramels always have to be scouped out of the tray with the fingers.
Melissa and I had a game of tennis after that. I beat her 6-1 but that's understandable because I'm older and I play a lot more often.
Mrs Street rang Mum tonight to say they're going to the dance tomorrow night. She also said the Brother at the college won't allow Paul home every week for practices. We already assumed that. I'm glad really because I don't like Paul very much.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
4th April 1985 (Thursday)
Holidays are finally here! But it's not for long and I've got a lot to do so they'll unfortunately fly past. I only got 8.20 for my Ancient History assignment. My TE score will be so bad I'll have to repeat.
I'm talking to Karina again. I went up to her and sat with her in Maths. I apoligized. She was a bit surprised but she forgave me. We are best friends it's dumb to fight. And it was me who wasn't talking.
Karina likes Nick now not David. I've gone off David too but I only like Nick as a friend. We get on really well. I can tell him my problems and he's really easy to talk to. I didn't see David at all today. Well, only for a few seconds. He said hi to us. He had trials for some sport away from school. But at the moment I couldn't be bothered with guys.
We had a fire drill at school today. They're dumb. If there was a real fire everyone would think it's only a drill so they'd go slow and probably get burnt in the process. At least we got out of Biology.
I didn't go to my piano lesson this afternoon because I haven't practised all week and it would have been a waste of time. So, I have to go in the holidays, next week.
I'm talking to Karina again. I went up to her and sat with her in Maths. I apoligized. She was a bit surprised but she forgave me. We are best friends it's dumb to fight. And it was me who wasn't talking.
Karina likes Nick now not David. I've gone off David too but I only like Nick as a friend. We get on really well. I can tell him my problems and he's really easy to talk to. I didn't see David at all today. Well, only for a few seconds. He said hi to us. He had trials for some sport away from school. But at the moment I couldn't be bothered with guys.
We had a fire drill at school today. They're dumb. If there was a real fire everyone would think it's only a drill so they'd go slow and probably get burnt in the process. At least we got out of Biology.
I didn't go to my piano lesson this afternoon because I haven't practised all week and it would have been a waste of time. So, I have to go in the holidays, next week.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
3rd April 1985 (Wednesday)
I'm still not talking to Karina. I don't know what to do. I think I should really apologize because it's me that's not talking to her. I'm hanging around with Roselise at the moment. I like it though, when I can talk to anyone and sit with anyone in class because I feel I'm not tied to one person. And I can talk to all my friends and make more friends. But if I really have to talk to someone, there's Jo. She's still my closest friend. I'm also fairly good friends with Kate, too. She's really nice!
I didn't talk to David at all today. Maybe I should say, he didn't talk to me! But I don't care. Now I'm finding more friends I don't care about guys. Last night instead of dancing with Karina I was with Cindy and Carolyn and had a great time. If I had have been with Karina I probably would have got depressed about guys. And now instead of sitting with Karina in Maths, English, Biology and Acounting I sit with Helen in Maths, Roslyn in English & Biology and Donna or Trish or Kelly in Accounting.
I only failed my Ancient History assignment by 1/2 a mark! I was very surprised. I thought I'd do much worse.
We had musical practice from the end of lunch until 5:00 this afternoon. We read the script straight through. The play is really funny. It should be great. And instead of having 6 lines I found out I have 9. I can't act though. I want to be an actress but I'd never make it. So I guess I just have to be satisfied with a brilliant singing career.
I didn't talk to David at all today. Maybe I should say, he didn't talk to me! But I don't care. Now I'm finding more friends I don't care about guys. Last night instead of dancing with Karina I was with Cindy and Carolyn and had a great time. If I had have been with Karina I probably would have got depressed about guys. And now instead of sitting with Karina in Maths, English, Biology and Acounting I sit with Helen in Maths, Roslyn in English & Biology and Donna or Trish or Kelly in Accounting.
I only failed my Ancient History assignment by 1/2 a mark! I was very surprised. I thought I'd do much worse.
We had musical practice from the end of lunch until 5:00 this afternoon. We read the script straight through. The play is really funny. It should be great. And instead of having 6 lines I found out I have 9. I can't act though. I want to be an actress but I'd never make it. So I guess I just have to be satisfied with a brilliant singing career.
Friday, April 2, 2010
2nd April 1985 (Tuesday)
I'm not talking to Karina.
Term dance - unreal! I had nothing to do with guys and I really enjoyed myself. I was dancing with Rose, Cindy and Carolyn. We went crazy and I loved it. David didn't go which was really good because I couldn't get depressed.
Term dance - unreal! I had nothing to do with guys and I really enjoyed myself. I was dancing with Rose, Cindy and Carolyn. We went crazy and I loved it. David didn't go which was really good because I couldn't get depressed.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
1st April 1985 (Monday)
I only got caught once about being an April Fool today. But it was by the best person. Of course I'm talking about David. He told me my senior badge was upside down.
We had our cross country this afternoon. The whole school had to do it. We got out of double Maths which is good and bad. Good because I hadn't done my homework and bad because it's the only subject I have with David.
Joanne and Kate (Jo's friend) ran up to me right at the beginning of the course today and almost immediately after they did Karina and Karen Barry ran ahead and left me behind. I thought that was extremely nice of her! She's really getting on my nerves but I can't do anything about it because she's the only person I hang around with. Maybe I should hang around with Nick (and David!!) but I've got a feeling he's getting sick of me talking to him all the time. But anyway, I had to run (or should I say walk) the whole course with Jo & Kate. Not that I minded, they're really great. But I felt really left out because Peter caught up with us and was walking with Jo and David Jackson was walking with Kate. (I obviously was imagining that he liked me!). When we got back to school I snobbed Karina as much as possible but that wasn't hard because David was with us. He was talking to me more than usual and Nick wasn't even with him. They ran past us on the cross country but didn't sop for long because they wanted to run all the way. Bu David doesn't care less about me. Why do I do this? I wish I could control my emotions. I'd make sure I never fell in love again!
Ann wrote to me today. She's keeping herself busy with work and school and she also has friend problems. I wish I could go over and see her. It's always great to hear from her.
I got 39/50 for Accounting and only 17/30 for the process part of the Biol. exam. That's a total of 37/60 for the whole exam.
We had our cross country this afternoon. The whole school had to do it. We got out of double Maths which is good and bad. Good because I hadn't done my homework and bad because it's the only subject I have with David.
Joanne and Kate (Jo's friend) ran up to me right at the beginning of the course today and almost immediately after they did Karina and Karen Barry ran ahead and left me behind. I thought that was extremely nice of her! She's really getting on my nerves but I can't do anything about it because she's the only person I hang around with. Maybe I should hang around with Nick (and David!!) but I've got a feeling he's getting sick of me talking to him all the time. But anyway, I had to run (or should I say walk) the whole course with Jo & Kate. Not that I minded, they're really great. But I felt really left out because Peter caught up with us and was walking with Jo and David Jackson was walking with Kate. (I obviously was imagining that he liked me!). When we got back to school I snobbed Karina as much as possible but that wasn't hard because David was with us. He was talking to me more than usual and Nick wasn't even with him. They ran past us on the cross country but didn't sop for long because they wanted to run all the way. Bu David doesn't care less about me. Why do I do this? I wish I could control my emotions. I'd make sure I never fell in love again!
Ann wrote to me today. She's keeping herself busy with work and school and she also has friend problems. I wish I could go over and see her. It's always great to hear from her.
I got 39/50 for Accounting and only 17/30 for the process part of the Biol. exam. That's a total of 37/60 for the whole exam.
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