13th January 1985 (Sunday)

Well today wasn't what I hoped for but it was what I expected.  I'm so depressed that I'll cry myself to sleep tonight.  I went into Karina's place at 9:30 this morning and we started writing a letter to Ann.  Then we went down to the newsagents to buy a card for Paul from Karina.  Then Rick & Brad came at about 10:15.  Brad was as gorgeous as ever.  Anyway we were walking down to the car, Karina first then me, then Brad.  I went around to the other side of the car because I knew Karina wanted to middle.  But Brad followed me around so I ended up in the middle and sat next to Brad all the way to Paul's.  I thought, "This is great!".  But that was all he did that could possibly mean he likes me.  We got to Paul's place too early, so he told us.  It wasn't a very good party.  Paul practically said nothing but hello to us all day.  But it wasn't Paul I was worried about.  Brad was talking to me but he never showed any more interest than a friend.  I didn't eat anything at Paul's place because I hate eating at other people's places and I wasn't hungry anyway.  After lunch someone suggested we go swimming at Brad's place (his grandma owns a pool and they live right next to them).  I was all for that except I had no togs but Karina said Arlene (Brad's sister) would have a pair that would fit me.  So we said goodbye to Paul and went back to Karina's.  (Karina sat in the middle this time).  I rang Mum and she said I could go swimming.  So we went out to Rick's place to get his things.  Then we went to Brad's place and I got changed there.  Then we went up to his grandparents' place.  It was fun swimming.  But Brad didn't say much to me.  Anyway we had to be back in town by 5 because I had to go to mass tonight.  We got changed at Brad's place again.  I saw his baby photo and it's so cute.  Then we said goodbye and went back to Karina's again.  I rang to tell Mum to come & get me then we finished Ann's letter.  When I got home we had tea which was good because I ate absolutely nothing between breakfast & tea.  I haven't done that for ages.  Then we went to mass at Hilldale.  Amber came too.  I was very tired in mass and also disappointed.

I like Brad so much.  He's very nice and he's real funny.  But Eric must have been lying.  For someone who's supposed to like me he sure shows it strangely.  I guess there is a possibility that he may like me but I'm being very optimistic.  Karina and I both think he's terrific.  I only wish he felt the same about me.