15th January 1985 (Tuesday)

We went into town today, Mum, Melissa and I.  Melissa was really getting on my nerves.  I'm glad I went though because I saw Karina and Arlene.  I spoke to them for a few seconds because Mum was in a hurry.  But then I saw them again when Mum was in the supermarket so I was talking to them for quite awhile.  I wish more people liked me.  I mean genuinely liked me.  I feel very lonely and as if no one cares about me.  Karina wanted to stay and talk to me but Arlene kept saying she wanted to leave.  She doesn't like me but I wish she would.  I like her.  On Sunday in the pool I was right on the edge and the others were throwing a ball around.  Arlene threw it and it hit me on the face.  She must have meant it because it would have been easy to miss.  I wasn't even in the way.  The others didn't seem to worry too much.  At least the Streets talk about me in their home, Arlene was telling me Mrs Street told Brad that Karina was older than him (by 24 days) and she said, "Wouldn't it be funny if Tara was older than you because she's such a little thing and you're such a big thing."  I keep asking myself what I did so Brad doesn't like me.  I might think too much of myself and he may not like that, although I never mean too.  There must be some reason because Erick was so sure he liked me.  And I can't think of any reason why Eric would lie to me.  I really want Brad to partner me for my debut.  But I can't ask before Karina does or she'll never speak to me again.  And I value her friendship too much for that.  But if she asks and he says no, there's no reason he'd say yes to me.  Brad's the only person I want as a partner but I never usually get what I want and this time won't be any different.  There's a dance on this weekend at Tooradin.  I really don't know whether to go or not.  I want to see Brad but not if he doesn't particularly want to see me.  I guess I will go though because there's always a chance something may happen and I'm not one to pass up on a chance, especially where Brad is concerned.