19th March 1985 ( Tuesday)

Karina was away today but that didn't bother me at all.  In fact it was really good without her.  I'm getting sick of her company.  I always get sick of my best friends.  It's stupid and I feel bad about it but I can't help it.

I watched Roselise audition for the musical today.  She's got a horrible voice!  Only two boys have auditioned for it so far.  The teachers said they'll have to force the boys into it.

Kelly told me who she likes and I have to keep it a secret.  I can never keep secrets but this one I will.  I want to because Kelly is my best friend at the moment.  She made me feel like someone when she told me and better still, she trusts me.

I only saw David once today.  He said hello and stood in front of me so I couldn't pass him and he kept stepping from side to side in co-ordination with me.  I loved it.  He's really very tall.  He's almost as tall as Nick but he doesn't look it.  Probably because he's muscly and Nick is a scrawny runt.  Wendy Harvey asked me if I like Nick today.  I asked why she wanted to know.  She said, "Just curious" but it was almost as if Nick or maybe Janine got her to ask me.  I said I didn't and she asked me if I hated him.  I said a very definite "No".  I only like him as a friend.  I've never really like him any more than that.

18th March 1985 (Monday)

Boy am I sick of school!  The social aspect is great: cheersquad, musical, camps, I love all that.  It would be fantastic if I could go to school for all that and do absolutely no work.

Geoff came home from the camp today.  He's very tired and has been sleeping since 5:00.  Joanne of course had a great time.  But being as popular and pretty as she is, I can imagine the kind of good time she'd have!  She wouldn't be depressed for one minute.  Not like dull, ugly, dumb, boring, stupid I did.  I'm nobody!  I really want the part in the musical.  It will make me special, someone, important.  But why am I kidding myself?  As if I, Tara Benning, would get a main role in the school musical.  Sometimes I live the biggest dreams imaginable.

David was at school today.  I found today I was avoiding guys.  I hate them all.  None of them are any good.  I offered David $10 if he auditioned for the musical but he took it as a joke.

I taught John this afternoon.  He's going well.

Kelly rang me tonight about her sewing.  I wasn't much help.

17th March 1985 (Sunday)

Today was the day I was supposed to do heaps of homework and start studying for the exams next week.  But I don't think it's even necessary to state what I didn't do.

Owen and Trent and Aunty Cor came up today.  Nan and Kevin are going down to their place to stay for a few days so they came to pick them up.  They stayed for the day.  With Geoff away on camp, Mel and I had to entertain the boys.  That was easy though.  I love kids.  We had a "copy the leader" dance competition to Madonna "Like a Virgin".  That was fun!  Good exercise too.

We went to Mass and Ridgehaven tonight.  Nobody interesting was there.

16th March 1985 (Saturday)

Work this morning was the same as usual but this time I had some very nice scenery!  Wayne Long is absolutely beautiful.  Kelly and I were drooling over him all morning.  But what's the use dwelling over something you can't have?  I think I should give up on guys for the rest of my life!

Tonight I'm in one of my I-wish-somebody-loved-me moods.  I get so depressed when I'm like this.  All I think about is having someone to hold me and really care about me.

Mum and Dad went to a wedding near Galton today so Dane Jenson had to pick me up from work.  Dane works for Dad and Uncle Frank on the farm.  Danny (Mum's bro.) came out today and had lunch.  Mum and Dad didn't get home until 8pm so we had Kentucky Fried Chicken.  YUMMY!!

15th March 1985 ( Friday)

Bodallin only came third!!!  We were so disappointed.  We've won the last 3 years.  Our cheersquad was pretty good.  I really enjoyed doing it.  It was great!  It got to the stage where it was more a competition between cheersquads rather than swimmers.

14th March 1985 (Thursday)

We had our final cheer squad practise before the big day tomorrow!  We aren't really very good but good enough.  I'm in the front row.  I got out of double Ancient History to make pom-poms.

David said hello to me today and I didn't even say anything to him first!  Karina got jealous.  Roselise and I went up to talk to him at morning tea (Karina was doing a Biology Prac) but he didn't say much.

Karina is such a selfish person and she's never willing to help anyone.  She's very smart and she always knows all the answers for Biology but when I ask her for help she practically throws her answers at me or ignores my question.  She does that in every subject.  She's all improtant and she doesn't give a damn if her best friend fails.  When I beat her in English I was amazed and I said about twice "I got 10/15".  She said, "Oh, good on you, Tara," very sarcastically.  Nice attitude for a friend to take!

I really hope I get a lead role in the musical then maybe Mum would take a slight bit of interest in what I do.  I come home and tell her I got a good mark for English and I beat Karina and she said, "Did you?"  Very uninterestedly.  I told her I got into the cheersquad and the same thing happened.  I showed her my cheersquad uniform and she didn't even say it looked nice.  Then to make things worse, I told her I auditioned for the musical and she didn't even ask me how I went.  Melissa came home with an 'excellent' written on her work and Mum showed all the symptoms of a 'proud parent'.  She can't even raise her eyes from what she's doing for me.

13th March 1985 (Wednesday)

I've given up on David.  I hate being hooked on a guy who couldn't care less and I won't do it again.

Yoko came up to the school today and said goodbye over parade.  Then she gave Karina a letter and I got jealous.  I was in a cranky mood all day.

We had cheersquad training again.  It's fun.

Someone told me today she heard I had the lead role but that wouldn't be right because not everyone has auditioned yet.