Yesterday I forgot to mention my piano lesson. My teacher has been in Hong Kong so I haven't had lessons for the past 4 weeks. I haven't been practising either. I thought she'd kill me but she was nice about it. She realizes I don't want to do exams so my lessons are only 1/2 an hour instead of an hour. She brought me back a nice purse, bag & sunglasses case.
School was nothing special. I can feel myself drawing away from Karina. I don't know why & I wish it wasn't like this but just don't like her as much as I used to. I didn't see David much today. But he talked to me for a little while.
I went out tonight. Of course I shouldn't have. We went to Ridgehaven Dance. I've never been so depressed. No one would talk to me. I knew enough people but the only person nice enough to talk to me was Karen Johnson. Elizabeth McIntosh (my doggy cousin) came in later with Benny. Bryant's at Mt Isa. I asked Liz when Bryant was coming down and they all just looked at me and Benny said, "Bryant still really likes you," so sarcastically I could have bashed his face in. Not to mention darling Elizabeth's. I must be the biggest failure at an attempt of a person I've ever seen. I'm a real dud! I've got no close friends now, no guys like me & no one talks to me. I'm hopeless. I'm worthless. I really wish I was dead. It would be so much better than living this rotten life I live. I wish a car would run over me or I'd get bitten by a deadly snake or I'd fall down the steps and break my neck or I'd get struck by lightning. I'm too gutless to kill myself so I need an accident to do it for me. I didn't think I was really that bad until tonight. There's obviously something wrong with me or I'd at least have someone who'd talk to me. I only had 2 dances. One with Dad's friend. I'm bad news. I don't think I should ever go out again. The public don't deserve such bad company!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Another...'oh dear' post!
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteJust came here and i should say it is just a recap from my teen years... but i am doing just fine now... in my early twenty something years and i am fine with the things back then... New to the blogging fraternity not entirely but yes... i enjoyed the theme.